3 Ways to Stop Worrying | Alyssa J Freitas: 3 Ways to Stop Worrying

August 19, 2020

3 Ways to Stop Worrying

The book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie changed my life. I first read it when I was entering high school, coming off of a less than stellar middle school experience with friends. My father gave it to me in hopes that I would learn how to interact with others better, and I credit that book with setting me on the path of loving to learn how people think and make decisions.

Another book by Dale Carnegie that I read is How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. I am a worrier, no doubt about it. I think of all of the potential outcomes and scenarios so I can be prepared, which has been a great asset for my career. I am constantly thinking about how the deals I am working will progress and the situations I can prepare for. However, I have the tendency, especially in my personal life, to think more about how things can go wrong than how they can go right. 
I've come to the point that I'm thinking about worse case scenarios with the pandemic, and work, and the wedding, that is preventing me from enjoying where I am in the moment - and I'm guessing that's the case for many of you too!

Since it's been 6 years since I last read How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, I realized it was time to revisit its principles and share the ways that I have worked on my tendency to worry. 

Journal

I have posted about journaling before (here and here - it's been a really long time since I touched on this topic - let me know if you'd like to learn more), and it is my number one way to clear my mind and work through the worries. I always try to explain the situation and write out solutions and a positive take so it doesn't turn into a constant complaining session - instead it's a way to look on the bright side.  

Talk to the people who will give you a reality check

I am definitely not suggesting that worries aren't valid or important for helping you prepare for what's to come - I am saying that there comes a point (very quickly) where it's a detriment. And that's where the reality check comes in. There are some people who will commiserate with you for days, others who won't know how to empathize, and then there are the ones who will hear you out and help you move past your worry.Call the ones who will give you a reality check when you know it's time to get some perspective

Look back and realize that most of what we worry about doesn't come to pass

Sometimes it's hard to deal with a worrying situation if you've never experienced it before. For example, "I'm worried that I'll fail geometry." You can tell yourself that you've never taken geometry before, so who knows if you'll actually pass the class. But, you can look back at other challenging situations you've had in your life realize you overcame those, so you can do this to. Instead of fixating on the unknown, you can look at your personal history to realize that you've survived before and will again. 

I will do an update post after I've re-read How to Stop Worrying and Start Living because I am sure there are many things that I could be doing that I'm not even thinking of!

How do you handle worry?

-Alyssa J

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