Missing The Past

Do you ever feel so overwhelmed that it’s easier to do nothing than to actually try and work on your to do list? That’s been me for a few weeks now. I was at the peak of overwhelm right when I came back from my Disney trip and went into a week of back to back client meetings, then things kind-of-sort-of calmed down (but work from my other remote job picked up). This past weekend I took a nap. A NAP. Needless to say, I have not been feeling like myself.

This is one of the only times (maybe it’s happened once or twice before?) I’ve not published a blog post at my normally scheduled time. I knew this was going to happen. I actively made the choice not to work on a post this weekend. And now here I am on Wednesday, writing a post and not feeling all that bad about it.

Sometimes we have to recognize that we’re taking on too much. Sometimes we have to take a step back and take a nap (ew). Because, as my mother told me, sometimes our bodies are sending us signals that our brains are apt to ignore.

I was with Casey last night (in person!) because I was traveling to Philly for work. It was so great to see her and we talked about the fact that we met nearly 6 years ago now. We talked about life after college and she is so good at looking forward and enjoying her post grad life. Me? Not so much…

I haven’t really talked about this on the blog, but the truth is I miss college. A lot. I had a handle on what I was doing and working towards and I was doing something pretty much every day that I found fun (whether that was an exercise class or a campus event or a meal with a friend). Now, days go by without having a full conversation with friends that aren't just texts to make sure the other person knows you're missing them. And while work is challenging and I'm learning, I can't always say that it's "fun."

This has caused me to feel pretty down and I spend more time than is good for me imagining myself back in my dorm or the library. The smell of the paper, the feeling of the chair I used to sit on, every detail. And while it was an amazing experience, I'm 100% romanticizing the past and using it as a way to make the present pale in comparison.

The truth of the matter is that each season has its pros and cons and while we can have preferences, it doesn't serve us (read: me) to look down on the present in favor of the past. A cycle of negativity can be hard to break, but recognizing it is the first step, right? Right.

I'll report back when I've figured out a good way (and have some nice, bulleted steps to go through) to love where you are in the moment. However, I just wanted to actually talk to you in the moment and acknowledge that this is where your girl is today. 

How do you keep yourself loving the present? 

-AJF

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