Casual Dating Etiquette | Alyssa J Freitas: Casual Dating Etiquette

February 23, 2017

Casual Dating Etiquette

I was recently having a conversation with a friend (who will remain unnamed) about the etiquette for casual dating. It made me realize that although I've ventured into some more relationship related posts, I've only done two (breakup etiquette and Valentine's Day etiquette) that pertain to etiquette. To give you a bit more context, here's an (nearly) exact transcription of the conversation that inspired this post.
Click to read now or pin to save for later! Dating can be tricky, Casual dating can be especially tricky! Here is the etiquette to keep in mind as you date so that you (and the other party) can have the best experience possible

Friend: Ok, so here's the situation: I went on one date with this guy and we're seeing each other this weekend. 
Me: Oh, that's great!
Friend: Yes, but here's the trouble. I'm going out this Thursday night and I'm wondering if it is ok to maybe dance and flirt with and see what happens with another guy?
Me: Hmm that's a tough one. I can't believe I haven't written a post about that yet. I should blog about it! 
Now that you understand the situation, here is the etiquette you need to know when casually dating.

Be very, VERY clear

One of the worst parts about dating is ambiguity. What did that text mean? Why did he post that photo with that girl on Instagram (I'll clear that one up for you...he's probably looking to, if not already, dating her)? The best way to maintain a standard of etiquette and to be conscious of the other person is to make your intention and expectations clear. If you want to date casually and be able to see other people, tell him. If you've been going out for a while and just want to see him, tell him. That way you will not have any confusion around where you stand.

Be reciprocal

If you wouldn't want it done to you, don't do it to someone else. For my friend, she was happy to keep it casual and would not mind if she saw him out with another girl. And since they were just starting to see each other it's safe to say that he understood it was casual too. By thinking about how you would feel if the situation were reversed you can get a pretty good indicator of if what you're doing is ok. 

Be a refined woman

This is actually one of my most popular posts of all time. When I shared how to be a refined woman I centered it around this Emily Post quote:
"The attributes of a great lady may still be found in the rule of the four S's: Sincerity, Simplicity, Sympathy, and Serenity"
While this post is about life in general, these adjectives are applicable to your dating life.

Sincerity- If you want to go out, say it. If you don't want to go out, for the love of all things good in the world, say it.

Simplicity- Don't read into things. Don't worry about what every word means. K.I.S.S keep it simple, stupid ;)

Sympathy- When you're turning someone down, do so gently. If something minor goes wrong on a date, don't hold it against them. You get the idea.

Serenity- Along with simplicity, this is a great reminder to keep the stress away and to be at peace with what you are encountering. This is not to say that you need to accept anything and everything (I am certainly not an advocate of that!), but this is a tool to refrain from overanalyzing and to enjoy the dating process without undue pressure put on either party.

So there you have it, my top casual dating etiquette tips! Let me know what you're casual dating experience has taught you. Have I missed anything?


-AJF
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