Dating Advice From My Father | Alyssa J Freitas: Dating Advice From My Father

October 22, 2015

Dating Advice From My Father

As you well know, I don't like to discuss relationships or romance on the blog (except for the one time I wrote about breakup etiquette; I just had to get that information out there!). However, my father has recently imparted some great advice that I just had to share. Although it may seem odd your parents can be a great source of guidance; such a crazy thought, right ;)
Dating Advice From My Father

They have algorithms for that.

I was talking with my father about how difficult it is to meet people and how all is hopeless in the world of love and he responded with, "They have algorithms for that." How romantic. But when you actually think about it, it is sort of amazing that we live in a time when we are in a position to put information into an algorithm and be presented with options. Is it as sweet of a story as meeting in a bookstore and then going out for sundaes (true story of how my parents met)? No, certainly not. But how awesome is it that we can now get access to people we wouldn't have otherwise been able to meet and find others who already exhibit behavior and qualities which would be compatible with ours?

My father lamented that back in the day if you saw someone you might like you had to take action then and there because there was no chance of finding them again. Reconnecting via FaceBook was simply not a thing. To me this is sort of a double edged sword. It is great that we can reclaim missed chances but I also believe that we are a lot more hesitant to actually make a move because we have the safety net of being able to find them later. Whichever way you look at it, I am still hopeful for the algorithms.

Just look at the pool you have to choose from!

This was in response to my complaint that if I can't seem to make it work in college, which is supposedly the absolute best place to meet someone because you're surrounded with people your age, then how am I ever going to make it work (I seem to recall being in a slightly melodramatic mood for that particular conversation...). My father pointed out that the pool we college women have to choose from isn't really too hot. Guys going to class in sweatpants, busy planning their next party, and not all that focused on the future #thanksbutnothanks. That's not to say that ALL guys in college are like this but the options aren't as good as we were originally led to believe.

What I take away from this is we have to put our situation into perspective. Try as you might to socialize and meet people, you can't attribute your lack of enthusiasm for the guys you come in contact with to something wrong with you. When you are in the presence of the right sort of person for you, then it (whatever "success" in a relationship looks like to you) will happen. 

You're a catch.

Awe, thanks Papa! This is something we must make sure we remember but can be very difficult when you feel like you're not getting where you want to be. You are a catch. You are intelligent and compassionate and elegant and witty and beautiful and charming and adventurous and talented, so what do you really have to worry about? When you meet someone who appreciates all of this and you're into them in return (for me this tends to be the hardest part...) then it's going to be wicked awesome. Until then, just go on being the phenomenal person you are!

I think my father is pretty spot on with his dating advice! Also, shout out to my mother (who is 100% reading this and will ask me why I didn't do a dating advice post from her and I will either be able to convince her that what my father says is slightly more amusing or will end up doing a follow up post with her guidance. Stay tuned) for always listening to me on this topic.

What do you think of this advice? Does your father ever give you the best perspective? What would you add?


-AJF

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